pay attention to trigger words

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Sometimes things are going along fine and then you hear a word or a phrase that sets you off, starting a full-scale war. The following words you should never use because they are destined to trigger a negative response, tuned you out or ready to attack: 1. You should have, 2. You should do this, 3. That's exactly what I want you to do, 4. Why didn't you, 5.You better, 6. I do not believe you, 7.That's not true 8.Don't you ever, 9.How could could you ever, 10. You make me!!!!!!etc, And constant talking about yourself angers people who do not wish to listen to you. Don't impose, don't get too detailed, share the stage, don't hog the conversation otherwise they will avoid talking to you or use you as the brunt of jokes with friends.

The following substitutes listed are destined to get people to listen or perhaps do what you want them to do. 1. Perhaps you could, 2.I would appreciate it if you could, 3. This person can use your support, 4.It would be in our or your best interest if you would, 5.Have you looked at it from this point of view, 6.I don't mean to contradict you, but have you also considered???7. 7. Perhaps we could both, 8. I would prefer, 9. It hurts my feelings when you don't, 10.Do you think it would be a good idea if?

12.I would never criticize you, but don't you think that perhaps etc. One more thing if you don't like the Answer?

then don't ask the question.

Be diplomatic.

People can hold a grudge against you for life. Mind you own business.

Don't offer advice unless you are asked.

Unsolicited advice is a sure way to alienate people, specially if they don't like your advice.

They may feel that you are judging them when in reality you were only trying to help them.
Stop playing games on this blog. If you are an adult behave like one. Your insecurities and jealousies and pretensions are showing.

Enough about you already.

Contribute something positive that other people can either learn from or enjoy on this blog.

Claude, February 17 2008, 5:50 PM

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