Stop Violence Against Women! Recognize The Pattern

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Domestic violence directed toward women take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse.

It happens to teenage girls and women of all backgrounds.

It's about power and control.

As many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners in the United States each year. Men want to instill fear to have power and control in the relationship.

The Tactics Used Are:
•Emotional abuse.

Uses put-downs, insults, criticism or name-calling to make you feel bad about yourself.

•Denial and blame.

Denies that the abuse occurs and shifts responsibility for the abusive behavior onto you. This may leave you confused and unsure of yourself.

•Intimidation.

Uses certain looks, actions or gestures to instill fear. The abuser may break things, destroy property, abuse pets or display weapons.

•Coercion and threats.

Threatens to hurt other family members, pets, children or self.
•Power.

Makes all major decisions, defines the roles in your relationship, is in charge of the home and social life, and treats you like a servant or possession.

•Isolation.

Limits your contact with family and friends, requires you to get permission to leave the house, doesn't allow you to work or attend school, and controls your activities and social events.

The abuser may ask where you've been, track your time and whereabouts, or check the odometer on your car.
•Children as pawns.

Accuses you of bad parenting, threatens to take the children away, uses the children to relay messages, or threatens to report you to children's protective services.

•Economic abuse.

Controls finances, refuses to share money, makes you account for money spent and doesn't want you to work outside the home. The abuser may also try to sabotage your work performance by forcing you to miss work or by calling you frequently at work.
•Domestic violence is part of a continuing cycle that's difficult to break.

If you're in an abusive situation, you may recognize this pattern: Your abuser strikes using words or actions.

Your abuser may beg for forgiveness, offer gifts or promise to change.

Your abuser becomes tense, angry or depressed.

Your abuser repeats the abusive behavior.

Lionne Club, January 23 2008, 1:37 PM

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