I would love to be useful

Believe me! If I could go back to Haiti right now, I would.

I got enormous capacities and a heart bigger than Atlas's. That means I would like to carry all the poor Haitians on my shoulder, but I am living in a very rough situation.

I took loans to furbish my education, open my own business but nothing worked.

I live in the wrong kkkstate.

No one wants to give me a job. No one (I never did anything wrong in the states.

They just don't like my blackness and my accent and my confidence).

I opened my own business.

It is being boycotted by the white folks.

I tried to resist with the support of the Hispanic people but they do not want me to put any sign at all to let them (the Hispanics) know I am there because the sign was in Spanish.

My salvation would be to go back to my country where I still have some good friends.

But I am a friend of righteousness, I cannot keep myself from opening my loud mouth if something does not make sense.

I would be eliminated.

So, I am being quite selfish by struggling in here and surviving by the same token rather than exposing myself in a country where the "sanmanman" are kings.

I cannot do anything right now. Even my friends are disappointed.

THey don't know what I am going through.

They think I let them down and that simple idea is just killing me.

Sorry my friend.

So much I would like to give back to my country.

So much I would like to be there and see and talk and interact with the people and feel their misery, their pain, their helplessness.

and, of course, their attachment to life; but I am far away.
I would create an organization, but if you dont have money to start it upfront, no one will trust a broke Haitian like me to give money to my organization.

All I can do now is blogging, hoping I can influence somehow, hoping I can communicate some love for the good and hate for the bad, hoping somehow Haitians will do it if they just get along and forget about pride, money, honey_women_men_sex, and focus just on the country for once, for god's sake, like Dessalines, and before him, Toussaint, did it.